You're Stuck with Me
by TahneeMariie
Summary: Female Cousland a few weeks after the blight has been finished. It's just Deseray (Cousland) being reminded of certain events that happened to get her and Alistair to where they are now and that she can finally be more carefree like she originally was.
1. Chapter 1

Deseray had been sitting against the bedhead highly relaxed. Wearing only her underwear and one of Alistair's many shirts. It was far to oversized for her small feminine body but it was as she like it. Smirking she watched as Alistair sulked his way into their room. So far he had despised being made king. But Des didn't mind herself one bit, she had time to relax, be who she really was instead of the serious 'Hero of Ferelden.' Maybe being a Cousland again for a little while had something to do with it. She was no longer just Deseray the Grey Warden. She was everything anyone decided to call her. Future queen, 'Hero of Ferelden', Deseray Cousland, Grey Warden and apparently the new one was the King's bitch. This cut had been made on purpose just to have a dig at her due to being the one who had in fact decided on her and Alistair's marriage. The comment had affected Alistair far more than it did her. She just blew it off as jelousy but he took it as offence on her behalf. When they discovered the rumour it had taken her over two weeks to get him to forget about it as he had wanted to go out and investigate who had started it up and publicly behead them himself. It only made her think, 'this would never of happened if I hadn't of been so selfish.'

Weeks before the Landsmeet she had decided the fate that was to become of them. It was the day when Morrigan had accepted Alistair's and Deseray's relationship and had told Des exactly how she felt. The two had grown to become sisters despite their bloodlines. Just thinking of loosing Alistair to make the right choice had practically ripped her heart out. He was supposed to be king, it was his bloodline. His proper destiny. So when the thought came to her she instantly grasped it, she wouldn't loose him and despite any other oppinions, what Des said became reality. She'd had the ability since she was a child, maybe she was just extra convincing.  
The only way she had been able to make their engagement possible had been because she was of nobility. Des was just lucky she was born into it, at that moment really.  
On the exact day it had all happened when the decision had been thrust upon her, Des had tried to think of the most logical thing to do with Logain, but when she tried to convince Alistair that maybe Logain should become one of the grey wardens, Alistair had flat-out denied the possibility before she had even finished her sentence and then decided to abuse her, there and then had been their first fight, straight after her so-called amazing boyfriend had said "it's either me or him, pick or im leaving."  
At that moment being the truly whipped little girlfriend she was, she had thrown her head back and yelled at the top of her lungs before slightly turning her head toward Alistair and giving him the most terrifying look she could muster. "Ok then, here," handing her dagger to him she pointed at Logain. "You do it!"  
She turned around at that moment and refused to watch. Des just simply shut her eye's and imagined she was at a simple luncheon with her mother, or fighting rats with her brother. It was as simple as blocking out all the noises, the gasping, the sobbing and the yelling and then it went quiet and then she knew the deed was done. She watched Anora break down with curiosity before closing her eye's and feeling a small amount of pity for the traitorous bitch. And then like that, it was gone and the hatred she felt for the queen returned. Deseray really hated other women and she knew that she had to decide whether Alistair would remain at her side or be Anora's lap dog while she ruled the kingdom.  
She raised her hand to silence the crowd and took a great breath. "This is what will happen, the ruler of the kingdom of Ferelden will be Alistair and," she paused for added effect, she was into dramatics, "I will be his queen and rule beside him." As she saw rather than heard the shocked silence and she felt like adding the dramatic noise of the 'dun dun dun,' but refrained herself. Turning to Alistair she noticed his ears had gone red and his cheeks were flaming. "Babe? You don't like my decision?" He nodded then shook his head clearly in confusion so she grabbed his hand and smiled sweetly, "everything will be fine. You'll see."

And then Morrigan had slept with Alistair and nearly destroyed Deseray in the process.  
This thought had Deseray slamming back into reality and just made her pout. Bringing her knee's to her chin she cuddled herself tightly, the memory shaking her. Just as she had positioned herself into her crying stance she felt a nudge on her shoulder. "My beloved, are you ok?" Smiling up at him as sweetly as possible she nodded before looking down again. She heard a huff of breath before anouther nudge to the shoulder."Des, you suck at lying you know that." This made her sharply look up and just glare at him. "Well there now, that got your attention didn't it?"  
She then watched as he stripped down to his briefs, for some reason since they had settled down she couldn't stand him wearing anything other than briefs to bed, maybe it was just easier to hold him, especially when she had those damn nightmares. He laid down next to her and cuddled the pillow she normally slept on. "I hate it when you keep how your feeling from me." Her reaction would be to her shrug her shoulders. "Im fine, just remembering the Landsmeet and the days that came after that." This made him blush which in turn had her biting his ear. "Why do you blush whenever I mention that night, even if I don't bring it up directly you do?" Alistair just sighed at her question before answering bluntly, "She's a freak who just urggh, lets just drop it." Des just nodded before jumping on her fiance's back, she laid on top of him, cuddling as much of him to her as she could possibly grab. She couldn't help giggling as she watched him blush, her grin so wide it looked as if her face would explode.  
Alistair groaned still blushing furiously, "I don't think anyone but me will ever realise that 'The hero of Ferelden' is not as serious as she makes herself out to be." She watched him pause, Alistair clearly trying to discover something funny to say.  
"Seriously though, are you sure it was you who defeated the Archdemon. I mean look at you, you know, your just far to cute."  
"You rather me be serious all the time? You don't like the real me?"  
He bucked her off before rolling her on her back and him pressed against her stomach. Alistair grabbed her wrists and pulled her face towards him. "No, I don't particularly care, whether your cute, serious or even being a bitch. I love Deseray Cousland and that is all I need to know and soon I will be making you my wife."  
Deseray laughed ferociously. "Don't you mean I will be making you my husband. I proposed!" She moved her head forward just that little bit and kissed him."Your stuck with me."


	2. Left Behind

The room was pitch black. No sound could be heard besides Alistair's soft snores. Smiling Deseray unwrapped herself from around him. Apparently both could not sleep without the other anymore, there was no helping it. Throwing herself off the bed Deseray tiptoed over her Mabari friend. All she needed was a glass of water and she would be straight back to sleep.  
Opening the door she slowly crept to the kitchen and noticed one of the many servants had fallen asleep on the floor. Deseray blinked when she saw this and shook her head quickly. She hated the idea of servants, she always had. Her opinion had always been if you had the money to have servants, you can pay them. Rubbing her temple which had begun to flair in annoyance, Deseray turned around and walked out of the room, coming back quickly with a blanket in hand. Crouching down Des quickly tucked the blanket around the small elven girl. Just seeing this sight made her sick to be honest, this girl should have her own place, not just cooped up all by herself in the castle kitchen. Des had not slain the Arch Demon for crap like this, she'd freed the world from the newest blight but no one was freeing the people of the world from themselves.

Des then strode through the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, slowly sipping it, she thought of everything and everyone she knew, so many had been lost to her and of course there was nothing she could of done about any of it. Tightening her grip on the glass she quickly shook her head back, her hair sitting too much in her eyes. "God damn it." Des in the end didn't know who she could blame. Every time she tried to blame someone it ended up coming straight back down on her, like a tonne of bricks being dropped on her head. She couldn't blame Duncan or the Grey Wardens as Duncan's duty was to the Warden's and to Ferelden and if taking a girl from her dying family was what it took then so be it. Des choked on this thought, she didn't want to think of her parents as objects. It was wrong. She felt a sob in her throat but held it back out of pure will. She could blame Morrigan for constantly pressuring her to take the more violent, if unnecessary path, or for pretending to be like her sister before giving Des the option, make your fiancee sleep with me or you or him will die. Honestly what kind of option was that, and then after everything Morrigan left her, the stupid bitch actually left her. When Morrigan had told Des she was leaving she hadn't actually believed the other woman and when she had spoken of the child Des had actually wanted to help raise the kid even if it was awkward, as Morrigan had become her best friend over the past year. Des had killed the girl's mother for her and for what. I'm going to have sexy time with the love of your life, get preggers and leave. Oh and I'm not gonna say goodbye either. Leaning against the kitchen's massive bench Des thought of the last time she had spoken to the woman.

Des remembered it clearly, as if it was yesterday. The argument was fresh and clear as if she had only just spoken. It was whilst they were running towards the Arch Demon, Des wasn't even sure she was going to survive even after Morrigan's ritual and all the worries of what was going down around them. Deseray had left Sten, Zevran, her dog Sparky and Leliana at the gate to protect the city, and had taken Morrigan, Wynne and her new king and love Alistair. They were ready to end it all, the blight and history. In between defeating hordes of darkspawn, Deseray had stopped Morrigan in her tracks and just looked into her eye's.  
"If you want me to apologize for sleeping with Alistair, I refuse." Deseray blinked a few times, understanding exactly what Morrigan had just said before shaking her head and whispering, "I don't want you to. I just don't want you to leave me."  
Des noted the hint of pain that went through Morrigan's eye's which just made her want to continue more. "Don't leave me, please Morrigan. I love you, your family."  
She noted the defiance in Morrigan's stance had changed. Her eye's were dead set on Des, she looked exactly lke the older sister Des imagined her to be. She felt Morrigan's hands on her shoulder and shook violently knowing her pleas where landing on deaf ears. Feeling helpless she dropped against Morrigan and just wrapped her arms around her. Normally Des would never risk a move like this but if Deseray never saw her again she wanted her to know she loved the woman. "You are my family, my sister and my best friend and I know you hate pointless touching but I want you, no I need you to see me and understand me. I don't want you to leave, please."  
"Des, I have to," and for the first time Morrigan hugged Deseray straight back before letting go and walking forward. Hugging herself she fell to the ground tears forming quickly. It wasn't fair, she had no parent's anymore and she had no clue whether or not her brother was alive still. Now the one person who had become her sister was leaving her. Deseray seen two sets of feet to her left, one dainty and small, the other set huge. Closing her eye's she frowned when she was pulled up by Alistair, his strong arms holding her.  
She broke down in his arms for just a little while before finally standing up straight and brushing herself off.  
"Love?" She heard the sweet voice as she had began to walk forward. This made Des proceed to turn around and look him square in the face, "this will never be spoken of ok," she paused before sighing. "Among other things, got it." She looked at Wynne who just nodded and Des knew then she wouldn't even have to say anything to the older woman.

As they had battled the giant beast, everyone was beat by the end of it, none of them could barely stand. Deseray knew when it was nearly done though. She could feel it, bubbling up in her blood. It burned ferociously trying to pain her enough that she wouldn't continue. Honestly though, in Deseray's mind now. She could not care for the pain. It did not bother her as much as all the emotional drama that had happened to her recently. Deseray rushed forward before slicing it's neck cleanly off with both of her twin blades. It had happened so fast, the demon had dropped quicker than even she did before everything went blurry and as if everything had turned to slow motion she collapsed. And all that went through her head as everything blurred was Morrigan was finally wrong about something, too bad it had to do with either mine or Alistair's life. Morrigan was the last person she saw as her vision had gone black, crying on top of her limp body. Deseray didn't know whether it was reassuring or not, waking up two weeks later sore and tired. It was then Alistair had told her that Morrigan had left as soon as she had been reassured that Des would not be dying that day. The news hadn't even made her flinch though. Crying hurt her too much now.

Back outside of memory world Deseray clenched her fist before hearing a smash. Looking at her hand she had obviously forgotten the glass that she had been holding for the last half an hour. She rolled her eye's at the sight of blood and water mixing quickly flowing to the ground. Taking her time she strolled back to her room when the light flicked on. Seeing a certain someone staring down at her had her lips pursing. "Well, fuck." She watched as her fiancee gestured her to show him the bloody mess left of her palm. "I didn't mean it honest," she looked up at the man she loved and feined cuteness. It radiated out of her. She watched his normally smiling face turn into a deep frown. "Stop the fakeness, your normally cute, but not in these situations. What where you thinking about?" He watched her look away and sighed. "We're going to have to talk about her leaving someday or you will explode." Bending down, she watched him pick u an old shirt from the ground and ripp it before proceeding to bandage her arm. "You will get Wynne to look at this in the morning, yes?" When he seen her nod he pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. "Come back to bed my beloved please." He paused before he frowned. Alistair was making a habit of it tonight. "No more drink breaks in the middle of the night for you from now on. Got it?"


End file.
